So with everything going on in the past week I have been all worked up and worried about the silliest things!! My first reaction to my mom about the possibility of not working was "Are we still going to go have lunch with Sandy when you visit?" It's funny the things that you worry about that really don't matter as far as the decision that has to be made.
So ya I am realizing that I have some silly fears. It freaks me out to think that I might lose my friends. When my son was born I had lived in San Antonio almost two months. I had no friends and all of my family was in Arizona. It was just me and Josh at the hospital when I had the baby. I am scared I am going to go through all of this all alone again. It is such a minute thing when you look at the bigger picture, but I hope that I get visitors at the hospital or that my phone is going crazy with people that want to come see me and meet the baby.
I mean in reality I am going to be so excited once my baby girl is here and I know that no matter if there are a zillion people or no people there for me I will still have Josh. =] My mom will be coming to San Antonio after Jazmyn is born and I'll actually get to spend time with her, and hopefully everything works out that my sister will be here in Feb. But that doesn't mean that I don't have some silly fears...we will see what happens I guess.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Something to Smile About
There is always something to smile about. Life has been so amazing for me, but in the past week I have faced another bump in the road. I initially wanted to just grovel and sulk but I know now that there is so much more to keep me smiling. Whoever said that life was supposed to be easy, right? I can't let people or things that are going on break me.
Obviously life is not easy, and never will be. I get so caught up in the moment that I don't look at the bigger picture. I have heard a ridiculous amount of quotes from people trying to help me through all of this "Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger" "Everything happens for a reason" "When one door closes another one opens" All of these are so true. I am definitely the type of person who uses challenges in life to make me a better person. I have been through worse, and things could always be worse.
I have decided that instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong I am only going to focus on all the right! I am so lucky to have people in my life that are being supportive and truely care about me. I have stopped worrying about the people that try to break me and put me down. Why waste time trying to please people that will never change the way they think of me anyways, no matter what I do. My man is so supportive of me in everything--school, work, my future, my dreams and goals, our family--I couldn't ask for more. The stress of everything has had me so worn out and emotional. The other night I couldn't sleep and just laid in bed crying, and he just held me and let me cry. Josh and my mom have helped me to find the positive in all of this. They have been there for me through the tears and have told me they will support me no matter what I decide.
What more can I ask for? So today I woke up. I see now that there is a whole lot more to smile about and a lot less to cry about. I am not going to waste any more tears on this. Things will turn around eventually. They have to. I will not just settle. I start school in a week and I am so excited. My little girl will be here at the end of Feb. & my lil man meets me at the door everyday with a hug that takes all of the problems away. There is nothing that feels better than coming home and hearing "Mommy I missed you. I love you."
So why cry when there is so much more to smile about.
Obviously life is not easy, and never will be. I get so caught up in the moment that I don't look at the bigger picture. I have heard a ridiculous amount of quotes from people trying to help me through all of this "Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger" "Everything happens for a reason" "When one door closes another one opens" All of these are so true. I am definitely the type of person who uses challenges in life to make me a better person. I have been through worse, and things could always be worse.
I have decided that instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong I am only going to focus on all the right! I am so lucky to have people in my life that are being supportive and truely care about me. I have stopped worrying about the people that try to break me and put me down. Why waste time trying to please people that will never change the way they think of me anyways, no matter what I do. My man is so supportive of me in everything--school, work, my future, my dreams and goals, our family--I couldn't ask for more. The stress of everything has had me so worn out and emotional. The other night I couldn't sleep and just laid in bed crying, and he just held me and let me cry. Josh and my mom have helped me to find the positive in all of this. They have been there for me through the tears and have told me they will support me no matter what I decide.
What more can I ask for? So today I woke up. I see now that there is a whole lot more to smile about and a lot less to cry about. I am not going to waste any more tears on this. Things will turn around eventually. They have to. I will not just settle. I start school in a week and I am so excited. My little girl will be here at the end of Feb. & my lil man meets me at the door everyday with a hug that takes all of the problems away. There is nothing that feels better than coming home and hearing "Mommy I missed you. I love you."
So why cry when there is so much more to smile about.
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